Mixed Messages, Letters
by Rosieroozoo
Summary: Hitsugaya recieves a letter from Sasame, yet he doesn't know how to reply. Fears of being forgotten and left behind arise. A oneshot that gets Toshiro to think about his values on Sasame and just a little treat for Hitsu/OC fans. - 3rd story in the series


Here's a little one-shot for you guys~ I hope you enjoy this little something I wrote awhile back after I was crazy about letters around the ending of Sasame's Christmas. I believe this is my first actual one-shot, so I hope it isn't too noobish for you guys xD Enjoy!

Recommended that you read my first two stories of Hitsugaya/OC in order to figure out what has happened before!

*Sorry for the weird symbols in between… Internet doesn't like my other symbols x-x oh wells….

-:~:-] Mixed Messages [-:~:-

-:- (aka Letters) -:-

-:~:- ] By Rosieroozoo [ -:~:-

-:- Translations -:-

Taichou = Captain

Nee = …Right? / Hey…! / Used to get people's attention

Fuku-Taichou = Lieutenant / Vice Captain (Please let me know if I made a mistake!)

Urusai = Noisy! / Be quiet! / Shut up!

Still testing out my new vocab words from Japanese class xD

-:~:- ]Begin~! Hajime~! [ -:~:-

"Taichou? Are you alright?"

Hitsugaya awoke to Matsumoto placing a steaming hot cup of green tea on his desk, which was scattered full of papers. He moved his head to the side, on top of his folded arms. He didn't look at his Fuku-Taichou nor did he complain about his nap being disturbed.

Slowly; he lifted his head, as he blinked to get used to the bright light. He slowly raised his head more, just enough to look at her face. Hitsugaya felt groggy from his half asleep state. "I'm fine Matsumoto…" He turned away from her, not in the mood for arguing.

Matsumoto crossed her arms under her chest, and shrugged. "You have ink stains on the side of your face." She smirked, enjoying the moment of taunting him for amusement.

He didn't reply as he tried to wipe if off using his sleeve. He was still feeling quite tired from all the breaks he was taking. Slightly embarrassed, Hitsugaya returned to his sleepy state as he hid behind the papers, hoping not to bring anymore attention to himself.

Matsumoto on the other hand, started to ramble off her concerns for her little Taichou. "This isn't like you at all Taichou! When are you going back to your angry, child workaholic self already?" She pouted, extremely bored despite all the breaks she was able to take.

"Urusai… Just finish your work… and leave me out of it." He mumbled quietly as he hid behind the mounds of stacked paperwork, when his eyes started to close and he quickly fell sound asleep.

She sighed quietly under her breath. Her; along with everyone else knew why he had changed into a lazy, tired and non-grumpy Taichou. It had been a few months since he had seen Sasame-chan; when she left last Christmas. He tried to convince her to stay, however she had her own home to look after.

Matsumoto felt sorry for her Taichou. Someone that finally distracted him from her overdue work- um, someone that had finally made him just a bit kinder. She knew about what had happened between them, the confession, the rival, and the betrayal… the whole story as she had spied on them for awhile, hoping for some sort of interesting story.

She sat casually on the green sofa, glancing back at him. From her view, she could only see his white haired head resting against his desk. He hadn't told her about the letter that Sasame-chan had mailed to him, but it was easy to just look over his shoulder, when he took a break or when he was constantly falling asleep… more than usual.

"Ame…-chan…"

Rangiku turned her head towards his voice, and watched him mumble in his sleep. She found it cute, coming from a stubborn Taichou like him. Giggling quietly in amusement, she looked on his desk and slowly took the letter from his grip. It was at least a week old, and she looked next to him with crumpled letters he tried to write back.

Rangiku sighed. "…You should just go and talk to her Taichou…" She was disappointed in him, to see him worry in a small relationship. It soon bored her, so she disposed of the idea of helping him when she decided to join the other Fuku-Taichou for a round of sake or two. Hopefully there wouldn't be any April showers they were expecting today.

-:~:- ][ -:~:-

Toshiro cringed at the bright office light again; as he slowly opened his eyes. Lifting his head, he looked around still drowsy to find that his Fuku-Taichou had left for another break. "Matsumoto…!" He wiped his eyes and yawned as he sighed, once he recalled the letter.

Hitsugaya knew that he had been different for a few months now, everyday became boring and nothing seemed the same as before. He missed a certain person who would walk into his office at lunch, as they would talk about what's new. He looked at the clock on the wall on his left. It was 12:05; he looked right, towards the office door where she would slide open the door with her smile that lit up the room. But she hadn't come.

His heart hurt, as a hand written letter sat in front of him. He recognized her handwriting, and even the words captured her personality and just reading it he couldn't help but recall the memories. He placed the letter down, puzzled. He just couldn't think of the best way to reply. He read the letter so many times; he could easily state it word for word.

"How can I face her again…?" He whispered to himself, pondering the best way to ask her to visit. He had managed to get a few favours and finally had got his hands on a visitors pass. He opened the top left drawer and took out the pass and placed it next to a new blank piece of paper. He quickly started off another quick draft of the letter,

_Dear Sasame-chan,_

_Do you want to come over?_

He stopped once he realised how Rangiku would react if she saw this. Hitsugaya could see it now, her bursts of insane laughter; as she probably thought something dirty, as he once again seemed like a child writing grade 2 pen pal letters. He crunched up the paper and tossed it aside as he sighed once again.

Sighing he twirled the ink brush and finally rested his head in his right hand with the brush. He was dumbfounded. When had it become hard to say 'I miss you'? He closed his eyes to rest and to think of a way to not make it seem so desperate, childish or seem like some pedophile chasing girls down. But it was easier thought than done.

-:~:- ][ -:~:-

He nearly fell out of his seat as his eyes widened when he heard a loud noise, and sat up straight to find Rangiku sliding open the door as she burst through the room. Of course, she didn't even bother to close the door. She walked right up to his desk and smiled widely.

"Nee~ Taichou! Guess what I got from Hanatarou!" She teasingly waved an envelope in front of him and smirked.

He snatched the mail from her grasp, he read the address in a familiar hand written, but not just from anyone, it was _her_. "Ame-chan sent me another letter?" Concerned for her safety he quickly tore the top and pulled out the letter, reading frantically.

_Dear Toshiro, _

_It's been awhile, and I was wondering how you are doing. Hope you're having lots of fun with everyone! Don't worry about me, I'm doing fine! Really! I was worried at first, if you were depressed or doing just fine. I was wondering if you wanted to come and visit, and we can finally catch up! Wouldn't that be nice? It has been half a year since we last met nee? I'll wait patiently for your letter!_

_Yours Truly, _

_Yamada Sasame_

He twitched angrily. "Are you teasing me?! This is the same letter Matsumoto!" He threw the letter softly down on his desk and sighed as he rested his head against the back of his chair. He looked over at her, who just seemed to ignore him. "Do you even care…?" Hitsugaya glared, a bit pissed off of her constant teasing recently.

"Nee… Taichou." Rangiku looked at him seriously as she stood near the window on the opposite side of the room. The warm sunlight peered into the room, filling it with a burst of spring. He was surprised himself; he thought today was just going to be cloudy. Why did he have enough time on his hands to question weather, when he could have been writing another letter?

Pouting, he said sarcastically. "What is it Matsumoto? Another excuse for not wanting to work?" He folded his arms over his chest and turned his head away in a huff. Only to turn in surprise when she quickly changed the subject.

"-You should go see her."

He was speechless. Were they at the point where they could both read each others minds? Has it been _that_ long already?

Rangiku continued without emotion. "Everyone knows you miss her. …Even I'm surprised you haven't gone by now."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to worry Sasame-chan let alone force her to come back. Thoughts of her ran through his mind. Everything he did for her, he never stood a chance being with her. As a shinigami, they would never have time with each other. Was he just lying to himself? There was no way she would talk to him, when he didn't visit nor wrote any letters back.

Toshiro shook the negative thoughts from his head. "F-Fine! I'll go… just make sure you get you're work done!" He made the best answer to make it seem like she was bugging him to go, when he obviously just needed an excuse to go and see her. Hitsugaya stood up sternly with an angry, pissed off glare on his face as he quickly hurried out the door.

-:~:- ][ -:~:-

Rukongai, District 2... It was a beautiful day, there was a slight cool breeze in the air and the leaves on the trees were a luscious green. Flowers were starting to bud and there was not a cloud in the sky. Hitsugaya sighed in relief; he managed to make it into Rukongai with no one noticing… he was supposed to be on duty after all. He walked casually down the walkways where a crowd of people would stop and purchase things at the stalls or inside the makeshift stores that doubled as homes.

He was surprised that no one here ran or hid in fright, since he used to come here once in awhile and be harassed for being cold hearted. It was almost like a dream, where he finally got some respect for once. Hitsugaya looked around, wondering if Sasame was out walking in this nice weather.

He turned around a corner suddenly, when he ran into someone. Without thinking he grabbed them to keep them from falling as he pulled them a bit close. Hitsugaya noticed long black hair with small rectangular pink clips that matched a pink summer kimono. He was immediately reminded of Sasame-chan… he remembered the situation and was about to apologize when the other person did.

She quickly backed away and bowed a few times as she said sorry. "Su-Sumimasen! …I wasn't watching…" A young girl looked up with worried green eyes. She looked as if she was about to cry, until she noticed him.

That hair…those eyes and _her_ voice. He couldn't believe it. He nearly ran her over! "A-Ame-chan…!" His eyes widened and his face blushed fiercely as he stuttered. He could barely stand, just as he could barely speak. Toshiro was overwhelmed with bliss. He was trying to resist just holding her, but he didn't have to.

"Toshiro-san!" She nearly dropped her bag and ran over to him, hugging him tightly. He held her tightly in return. He missed her, her touch, her voice, everything… he _needed _her. Hitsugaya felt a tug at his heart as he tried to keep his emotions in check. Hitsugaya could feel tears forming, he couldn't make her worried if he cried now!

Toshiro looked around to see other vendors and civilians speechless. He slowly let her go as he was slightly embarrassed from his burst of happiness. He stopped when Sasame looked at him with a smile. Just by that simple smile, it warmed him and made him smile back. She was beautiful, and to him he could finally say that she meant more to him than anything else. His thoughts of her shattered with her innocent thoughts.

"What are you doing all the way out here Toshiro?" She said with excitement as he offered to help her carry her heavy bag. She led the way towards her house, as he quickly followed just beside her.

He tried to think of a good way to reply, but he couldn't help but be honest with her. "I really missed being with you Ame-chan… so I wanted to visit you." As they walked, he couldn't help but smile again as he gazed at her. "…I'm sorry I take so long to reply to your letters… I just didn't-"

She interrupted him and tried to finish his sentence. "Didn't have time? You don't have to worry Toshiro; I understand that your job is busy sometimes nee?" She continued to walk towards her home as she looked away for a moment then back at him.

Hitsugaya quivered, it was pretty boring without her, but he didn't want to upset her by what she gave up for him to remain a Shinigami. "I-It's not that Sasame-chan… I just didn't know how to reply." Toshiro looked up at the clouds for a moment, embracing the cool breeze in the warm air. There was never a time he could ever get away with a lie now that she knew him better than anyone.

Sasame was puzzled. "Didn't know how to reply?" She repeated with worry.

He looked down for a bit. "First of all, I'd rather talk to you in person- and I didn't know if…" He trailed off hoping to avoid the subject. He wanted to know if she had found… someone better. But how could he say that to her? She always sent mixed messages to him, he couldn't tell if she liked him or feared him at one point. Things between them were tense already, and he didn't want to make it any worse. But to his luck, he stalled her question as they finally arrived at her home.

They were in an open forest area and he soon spotted a single wooden house near a river. It was quiet, but it looked like she had everything she needed. "Here we are~!" She smiled as she ran up the 3 steps up to her door. "Nee, are you hungry?" She slid the door open and welcomed him in. He became worried about her being here alone away from neighbours, but he wondered if she was lonely. Hitsugaya recalled her question and answered hastily.

"I-I'm fine Sasame-chan, thanks." He stuttered as he noticed a watermelon she had bought.

She smiled and walked over to it. "You're favourite right? If you want we can have some outside. It's a really nice day isn't it?" She said happily, as if she saw straight through his lie.

He nodded in nervous agreement. Toshiro was taken aback; he didn't know how to react. Toshiro had never been happier, as if this whole thing was a dream. He offered to cut it up as they soon sat outside on the stairs not to far apart from each other.

With a piece of watermelon each, they silently enjoyed the peace and serenity around her home. The river water crashed softly against the rocks along the bank, and the leaves moved in the slight wind. It was lovely this place, she had all to herself. But the question kept hitting him he had to somehow bring up a topic to find out. "Sasame-chan? Aren't you lonely here by yourself?" He looked at her, but she only looked down at her watermelon.

"Well…" She slowly looked at his eyes with a stroke of sadness. "…I do sometimes Toshiro." She spoke honestly, and her response made him feel very guilty and concerned if there was a new rival in the picture. She put her watermelon down and moved closer to him and leaned against his shoulder. "But times like this, I just wish time would stop."

He nodded and put his watermelon down as well. She couldn't see the real question he was asking. When did it become so hard to communicate with her? Why didn't he come to visit her earlier? He didn't realize that he hurt her with isolation in the process…and himself.

She continued softly. "I feel much better when you're around Toshiro."

Now he was overwhelmed with a stroke of pure happiness. He never imagined that she would say something that wonderful to him, ever. He turned to face her, as her soft green eyes gazed back at him. Her face was a gentle red from blushing. "D-did I say something wrong?" She turned away a bit and looked guilty until he took her by the hands.

"Of course not! I'm just… a bit nervous." He replied in a nervous manner, wondering if he said the right response that didn't intend to offend her.

"You don't have to be Toshiro, I want to be here for you, always." Her answer made him feel a bit more comfortable. However that question was still bugging him. He was confused and frustrated. What if she did find someone new, someone better, someone who was always there and wasn't afraid to tell her.

He was caught off guard when she looked into his eyes, and he blushed. She was leaning close to him, her face closer to his. It was what he was waiting for; Just for her. He would wait as long as he had to, just too simply be next to her... But he couldn't- could he? Hitsugaya slowly leaned towards her, that he was able to feel her breath. How long had it been? Since the first time they kissed…Christmas? He had dreamt about it since their first kiss. The next time… he would be able to kiss her again.

Hitsugaya was mesmerized. He reached his right arm around her and placed his hand on her back as he brought her even closer. He was losing control of himself with every move he made. He craved to hear more of her voice, more of her. With his left hand he placed it on her left cheek as he swiftly moved her long hair out of her face. He was becoming more and more desperate for her, and his heart started to race. Her gentle features seemed to stand out more, and her eyes just gazed at him.

"Ame-chan…"

She didn't say a word as he gazed her lips. He was only focused on her, as he slowly came closer and closer. She just sat there waiting for him as her eyes slowly closed. However he stopped right before their lips touched.

For once she made it clear on what she wanted. It was so unlike her. What was going on? How did this happen so quickly? Hitsugaya retreated and sat normally again, looking down. She crawled slowly towards him in a cutesy way as her lips seemed glossy and she seemed a bit different.

"Toshiro-san? What is it?" Her voice was soft and quiet, fit for the mood, but it was just more evidence to him.

He was taken aback, he was sure an idiot. He looked up into the sky as the sun shone brightly, but a soft pitter-patter was heard in ambient sound. The sound of rain, yet not a drop had fallen here.

He turned only his head to look at her in the corner in his eye. He was surprised that everything was so clear and visible, and her touch seemed so real. But he knew what was coming. This Sasame… would never be his, and it wasn't her. He didn't want this kind of Ame-chan. Everything that had happened, was false. He thought aloud once he realised it was all a fantasy of his wish to see her…

"…just another dream huh?"

-:~:- ][ -:~:-

Hitsugaya laid still as he heard rain hitting the roof of the office. He stretched from his nap, and slowly lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. He noticed the ink brush splattered on the surrounding papers, and sighed. He was right, everything about her was just a far off dream, and there was no sun, or his sunshine. He slowly got to his feet, as the drowsiness followed behind. He decided to see if Rangiku got her work done, near the table and couches. He rubbed his eyes again as he saw a familiar shape on the couch; and Hitsugaya's eyes widened once he realised who the shape belonged too.

"A-Ame-chan…!"

He quickly hushed himself when he realised that she had fallen asleep. He noticed on the table was the visitors pass. How did she manage to get it?! It didn't really matter to him, she was here! She wore the same green kimono that she had worn when they first met. The only difference, was she wore the snowflake clips from Christmas with it. Hitsugaya was slightly relieved. Not only was she safe, she still hasn't forgotten him.

He smiled and turned to at least get her a blanket, remembering the time when she had done the same thing for him so long ago. Hitsugaya walked over to the closet and took out a white sheet. It was the only blanket-like item, so he decided that it was best. Hitsugaya walked towards the table as he unfolded it. He held the blanket up to spread it out, when he stopped to smile at how delicate she looked when she slept on her side. Her gentle features made her seem graceful as her chest slowly rose and fell with each small breath. She had curled up on the sofa, making her look so young and innocent.

Hitsugaya heard a soft murmur come from her lips. "…Toshiro…-san… where are you…" He blushed lightly when he heard his name. What exactly was she dreaming about…?

He was worried when he saw a sorrowful expression on her face. He quickly recalled the blanket and strolled around the table towards her, until his eyes widened in surprise as he tripped over sake bottles lying all over the place. He let go of the blanket as he slid and tripped over the table; and landed right on top of Sasame ...with the blanket slowly drifting down on the Taichou's back. His eyes remained wide as he looked at the scared girl's wide eyes beneath him. His face turned a bright red as he tried to think of something to calm and cool, down the situation.

"H-Hey Ame-chan…um… nice to see you…?"

-:~:- ][ -:~:-

He blushed further as he was too stunned and embarrassed to move, as he just looked at her in the eyes. She was blushing madly as he flinched, not wanting to make this any worse. But it was too late for that. There was nothing more the little Taichou could do.

The door slid open with Matsumoto cheerfully bursting through the door with a grin on her face as she only saw Toshiro's head. For him, it was nearly déjà vu. "Taichou~ guess what! I officially beat Kira at our sake drinking contest-" She stopped when she saw him…on her.

Now suddenly back to being sober; she slowly backed towards the door. "Well… I didn't know that you two were this serious- and already- I'm going to just go-" She quickly turned around to leave when Hitsugaya sat up quickly on the couch, still halfway on her.

"M-M-Matsumoto! Matte! It's not-! We're not-!!!" He stuttered with his words, totally embarrassed and his entire reputation would be ruined. He was stunned as he thought of his impending doom. His Fuku-Taichou left the room, as he lowered his gaze, his own way of sulking.

"T-Toshiro…-san…?"

Hitsugaya turned back and was stunned when he forgot what position he was in. He quickly backed away off of her as she slowly sat up. He moved he head down, and looked slowly at her as she gazed at him, emotionless. He was worried what would happen now, that he somehow managed to screw up once again.

"Toshiro-san I missed you!"

His eyes widened as she rushed up to him and hugged him tightly. Somehow it felt like she always knew what to say to calm him down, even though it was like she completely ignored the fact of what had just happened. However he felt very relieved that he could finally talk to her… in a way.

Hitsugaya only then realised that she was still hugging him on the couch. He reached his arms around her as he pulled her closer into a hug. She held him tighter; as she repeated nearly in a whisper. "I really missed you Toshiro-san…"

Hitsugaya smiled back warmly; the times he had dreamt of this moment was countless. "I missed you a lot more Ame-chan." He took her gentle hands and held it in his own. "I'm sorry I didn't visit you earlier-" Hitsugaya's eyes with worry as she released him from her hug.

She smiled brightly as she replied with softness in her voice. "It's alright Toshiro-san; I'm sure you had some reason why." She turned her head a bit with a smile for reassurance.

"Nee… Ame-chan," Hitsugaya looked away from her, so she was unable to see his teal eyes. "…how do I know this isn't a dream? …And how do I really know that you haven't found someone better in Rukongai?" He looked at her in a stern but nervous way wondering if he should have actually asked her something like that. He recoiled, prepared for some sort of angry or upset reply.

However she just smiled softly, as she slowly leaned closer to him. Without anymore hesitation she casually wrapped her arms around his neck as she closed her eyes and pulled him into a kiss. He was a bit stunned, but the blissful moment of certain reality made him seem like it was truly heaven. He slowly closed his eyes enjoying this long awaited moment. He recalled all his thoughts and calculations, of everything that he could do… were all so complicated. But why could it be so simple?

He slowly freed his lips from hers, as he remained only inches from her face. "…Does this mean that you still love me?"

Sasame smiled as he gazed into his eyes. "Why wouldn't I?" She replied in a playful tone as she retreated and sat up straight beside him. "I doubt I would ever find someone like you Toshiro."

She looked straight ahead, gazing out at the window, with the streams of teardrops that fell alongside the glass. Sasame seemed at quiet peace, something that he didn't want to disturb.

"The same goes for me, Ame-chan." He had a grin on his face; he couldn't help but feel so warm around her. Hitsugaya felt as if, without her he returned to his cold hearted self. Only with her was he able to smile.

Hitsugaya rose from his seat and headed towards the shelf where his traditional teapot sat with ceramic cups. "Do you want some tea?" He looked back over his shoulder to see her.

She sat, and nodded cheerfully as he replied with care. "…We have a lot to catch up on don't we?"

He nodded confidently as he blushed softly.

-:~:- ][ -:~:-

After her visit, Hitsugaya escorted her to the gate leading to Rukongai district 2. The rain had finally stopped, and it was the perfect time for her to walk home. He walked on her left, occasionally glancing at her warm smile. Hitsugaya was truly happy to hear her voice again after half a year of waiting, and it was very painful letting her go for the second time, wondering when the next time he would he able to see her again.

Sasame turned her head to glance at him as she reached her hand into his. He was always a little bit surprised and blushing every time. They continued to walk silently though Seiretei. He always saw her smiling and always so gentle. How in the world did he manage to fall in love with someone as perfect as her? "Toshiro-san?"

He was startled as he quickly replied with a nervous "H-Hai? What is it Ame-chan?"

She looked straight ahead as they were nearing the gate where they would have to part. "Can I still send you letters, Toshiro-san?" She turned her face to look up at him with large, hopeful eyes.

"Of course Ame-chan," Hitsugaya smiled at her, when he stopped when he reached the gate. "Why did you ask?" He watched as she slowly came to a stop beside him.

She looked up into his eyes and then turned away. "…well, being a Shinigami is pretty busy isn't it?"

Hitsugaya was a bit surprised, but he replied calmly. "You're my priority Ame-chan," He blushed a bit as he stuttered. "S-So if you need something… I'll come to you right away."

She looked at him, stunned with happiness. "Arigatou Toshiro-san…" She reached her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Sasame slowly looked up at him, when he slowly leaned closer and kissed her softly. She was surprised at first, until she slowly closed her eyes and savoured it. Sasame was glad that he was becoming more comfortable with her…..

The leaves blew in the cold wind, as colours flowed in the sky as the setting sun was falling. Hitsugaya stood beside her, smiling as best as he could for her, even though he knew it was time she would have to head home. "Ame-chan," He gazed at her green eyes, as he slowly let her go. "I promise that I'll visit you soon."

Sasame smiled as she nodded happily. "I'll see you soon then Toshiro-san!" She waved and turned towards home, as he stayed behind. He watched as her hair swayed in the soft wind, and her slow figure get smaller in the distance.

He put his hand against his chest; it hurt to see her leave him again. She didn't turn back to face him, which he knew was best for him, since he was barely holding back the urge to bring her back. "Ame-chan…" He whispered to himself. Hitsugaya was sure that they would be just fine. He gazed up towards the sky with a faint smile of confidence. His time with her, felt just like a dream…

-:~:- ] Finished~! Wakarimasu~![ -:~:-

There you go! How was it? Probably a really common storyline, but hey, I wanted to try out a one-shot. Feel free to give me some pointers and such, after all I'm still pretty much a beginner writer. xD Please no flamers? Review please? I really want to know if you guys like it ^^ Oh yea, this one-shot may (Hint hint) lead to a third chapter story! Hehe!


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